


Breathe Easy

by Arktosphonos



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, hanahaki disease au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 10:12:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14692053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arktosphonos/pseuds/Arktosphonos
Summary: Sora’s in love with his best friend. The feelings are hidden deep within him, usually, but after falling ill with a particular disease, whenever he sees his crush or starts thinking of him he coughs up flowers. Flowers are growing within his chest just as rapidly as his feelings for Riku, but if he doesn’t get his feelings reciprocated or have a surgery to remove both the disease and the emotions, he risks dying.What’s a boy to do?





	1. chapter one

Golden petals stood out in stark contrast atop the pillow that he had slept on last night. Sora’s face flushed hot with shame and guilt as he traced his fingers over the delicate daffodils that were scattered about the bed, some of them spilling off and onto the floor. It was a mess of flowers in his room, and he had absolutely no idea how to deal with it.

Did he sweep them all up and dispose of them? Pretend it didn’t happen and try and ignore the tickling feeling in the back of his throat, the taste of fresh cut flowers and pollen that tried to rise and fall from between his clenched teeth?

Or did he grab flowers by the fistful and carry them over to Riku’s house, show him the wilting and bruised petals he had been fighting back for the better part of two years? He could handle a few petals like in the beginning, the scratchy feeling that came after was easily drowned out by a full bottle of water, but as time wore on, the more Riku smiled at him, laughed with him, praised him on his accomplishments, the more Sora found himself unable to stop the inevitable growth of foliage within his body.

The only thing that rivaled the bloom of pain in his throat once he started hacking up flowers, was the pain in his heart every time Riku so much as looked at him. The smile that reserved for him and him only, always stole the last dredges of air from his lungs. It didn’t help that literal flowers were growing within them as well, sucking up all the precious oxygen and sending him into coughing fits at inopportune times.

His chest ached in intensity the longer he thought about his best friend. Sora cleared his throat, hand against his chest to try and settle the discomfort that was rapidly spreading throughout it. If he didn’t reign in his feelings soon, a new torrent of petals would join the rest on the bed and floor.

“I’ve gotta calm down,” he whispers to himself, hand resting on his chest, over his heart as he felt the rhythmic beating beneath his skin. Clearing his throat once more, Sora took a moment to collect himself, eyes falling shut as he tried to settle down enough that he could clean up the mess before his family saw it.

An irritated grunt left the teen as he grabs hold of the blankets and shook them out, scattering daffodils everywhere in his irritated attempt at pushing aside his disease for longer. He was dying the longer this went on, his parents had already urged him to get treatment for his condition, but Sora felt guilty just cutting out all the feelings he had for his best friend.

Would anything be left for them if he went under and got a surgeon to remove his feelings and flowers? Would they be able to go back the way they were if everything was taken out? He didn’t know which was scarier: confessing or going numb.

Sora felt petals get crushed underfoot as he walked around his bed, fighting to get the sheets tucked in properly again. It was unusual for him to refix his bed, but he would rather deal with that than cleaning up daffodils and being forced to see the severity of his condition.

He wasn’t stupid. Sora knew this disease was literally killing him, draining his body of vital nutrients and oxygen as the flora took and absorbed everything he needed. The flowers were thriving, growing strong and hearty within his chest as his body slowly started to become a shell of what it once was.

He used to be so energetic, always out playing with his friends. But now he could barely walk through his house without being winded due to the flowers in his lungs. He bruised easier, seemed to get sicker faster, and suffered from a concerning amount of anemia from the flowers taking and taking and taking so much from him.

The roots had spread far, seeming to go all throughout Sora’s torso now. But it was the only outcome expected after so long he neglected to do anything about the issue. He didn’t know how to bring it up, not without ruining everything in his and Riku’s friendship.

How do you tell someone you love that they’re actually killing you?

Sora couldn’t place that kind of burden on his best friend. Friend’s don’t do that. Best friends especially don’t pin their conditions on each other.

The bed creaks under the weight of Sora flopping down on it. He watches the fan spin in slow lazy circles for a moment, something that required no thinking for a blessed few moments. He wasn’t suicidal, he didn’t want to die anymore than he wanted to have this disease, but he refused to push his life onto Riku and screw everything up because of it.

So the only options he’s left with is to either go under the knife and have everything removed, or just wait for it to kill him.

His eyes fall shut and he takes a deep breath. 

Already he can feel petals in his mouth again.


	2. chapter two

Almost everything needs sunlight to grow. It’s scientifically proven that the majority of life on Earth needs it to sustain themselves, so Sora always found it a little funny that the flowers residing in his chest cavity didn’t need the warm rays and vitamins a star in space provided. The roots that were buried deep in the branches of his bronchi needed little more than the blood that pumped through him and the air he breathed.

He was a living greenhouse for the flora that infested him. Anything the flowers needed, he provided. Sunlight was just a myth, it seemed. The plants seem to grow just fine without it.

However, if he was to need a sun, he had something better than a burning star millions of miles away. He had Riku.

Sora could hear cicadas crying in the distance as he and Riku walked home from school. Summer was approaching fast and already the insects were abuzz with life after their dormancy. But as loud as the cicadas were, all Sora could focus on was how close Riku was as the two walked down the sidewalk.

His heart yearned to just reach out those few scant inches and have his fingers interlace with Riku’s own. Part of Sora hated himself for being too scared to put himself out there, to just suffer in silence without ever getting an answer.

But the real fear of losing his friend over some crush was enough to tamp down the desire to come clean and admit his feelings. He already knew he was dying from his disease, but to die with a broken heart as well would be too much.

“Do you think your parents would be cool with us going to the island for a little while today?” Riku asked as the two continued to lumber down the path. His question was enough to pull Sora out of his mind and get out of the depressing thoughts of dying.

“I don’t think they’d have a problem with it.” Sora shrugged his shoulders. Usually his parents didn’t mind him going out on a school night for a few hours as long as he finished his homework and did a few chores around the house before he left. “I only have maths to deal with tonight, so if you want to wait around while I do it that’d be nice.”

Riku snorted, reaching over to gently push Sora in a playful manner. “So you mean you’re going to spend the whole night doing homework and I get a free meal because your parents never want to send me home without feeding me.”

Sora stumbled slightly, but recovered quickly and moved to brush up against Riku’s side. The foliage inside his body trembled, the taste of pollen heavy on his tongue for a moment at the skin contact. Sora physically wrenched down the desire to once again confess as Riku grinned at him, happiness dancing within those teal eyes as the two playfully bumped against each other.

“Actually after asking for a little help I’m understanding this chapter of the book better!” Sora was proud of himself for picking up the content quicker than usual, and with only a minor tap to his pride after admitting he needed help.

“Yeah? I’m proud of you, buddy,” Riku laughed, genuinely happy for Sora as he threw his arm around the brunet and held him close as they awkwardly continued their journey to Sora’s house.

Riku always showed his affection with Sora with light teasing and then physical affection. It always left Sora’s heart fluttering, even when they were younger and Sora couldn’t name these annoying feelings.

Sora knew he was blushing, could feel the burn of blood rushing through his face at the closeness Riku was giving him. It made his heart both soar and sink at the same time. His belly doing flips as he simultaneously wanted the moment to never end and to get out of the hold as quickly as possible before the flowers in his chest forced their way out and revealed his secret.

He was thankful, and a little sad, when Riku released him.

Sora’s house peeked out from behind a small row of houses. They were almost to the brunet’s house and Sora would have to put an even tighter lid on his feelings. His family was aware of his condition, but they didn’t know who he was so deeply engrossed in that it caused the disease.

He had to be careful not to let it slip that it was his best friend he was in love with. If they found out, then it would be mere moments before Riku himself knew. Sora was careful with each minute interaction, each simple word, so it wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone but himself.

“You seem to be rather introspective today.”

Sora startled at Riku’s voice, eyes going wide before he frowned at the comment. Lately he had been getting more and more absorbed in his own thoughts and it made for dangerous situations if he wasn’t careful.

“I’m just thinking about what we can do this summer,” he lied. It was something quick he thought of on the fly, but it was also true in the most detached sense. Summer meant being with Riku more often, possible sleepovers at each others houses. But it also could lead to much more issues with his disease.

This would be the first, and possibly last, summer with Riku since his diagnosis. It was almost laughable that the flowers had spread so quickly throughout his torso, wrapping and winding their way around such vital things that it would cause his untimely demise.

“We should do some fireworks this year! We haven’t since we were kids.” Sora loved fireworks, the bright colors and loud popping brought childlike glee to him. “We can take them to the island and have the perfect place to set them off.”

“Whatever you want, Sora. It sounds fun after all.” Riku let out a soft laugh, smiling that indulgent smile that Sora had only seen the older teen give to him specifically. It turned his heart to mush and sent a wave of butterflies rushing through his belly.

Clearing his throat, Sora forced back the surge of petals that had begun to sprout in his mouth. He stopped to cough, clearing the flowers from his esophagus before he swallowed them, grimacing at the awful taste of the daffodils on his tongue and in the back of his throat.

Another harsh cough wracked his body, petals spewing forth at the intensity. He tried to clasp his hands over his mouth to keep the daffodils from coming out, yet the flowers pushed and erupted past his fingers, falling in a heavy flurry of saliva drenched petals. Sora’s heart plummeted to the ground and was subsequently shattered as Riku stared at him in horror as flowers came out of his mouth in wet masses.


	3. chapter three

_What happened?_

_Are you okay?_

_Please message me back. I’m worried about you._

_Sora? Are you there?_

Sora stared at the screen of his phone, watching the messages flash by in rapid succession. His thumb hovered just above the keyboard, yet he made no move to actually formulate a reply. Riku had been texting him almost nonstop since helping him home, and while his best friend did deserve answers after watching him hack up flower petals, he really had no clue what to tell Riku that didn’t sound accusatory.

_Those flowers? They’re because I love you. I’m so lovesick that it’s actually making me sick._ Sora scoffed at the thought and allowed his arm to fall to the bed, the phone still held firmly in his grip so it didn’t clatter to the floor and possibly shatter the screen. His mother had enough to deal with, buying him a new phone shouldn’t be on her plate as well.

His heart fluttered in his chest as another message came through and caused both the phone and his hand to vibrate. Almost as quickly as the gooey, happy feelings appeared, they were forced back down and causing his stomach to sink along with them.

Guilt crept in, lacing its way through the stems of the flowers in his lungs. It clawed in deep, making him feel sick for even the smallest bought of joy. Did he deserve to feel happy while his mother suffered so on his behalf?

He could hear his mom downstairs crying, her sobs just loud enough to be carried through the halls to his room. Those wretched, mournful cries immediately cut away whatever happy feelings might have started to develop by Riku’s influx of messages.  

When Riku brought Sora home, she had immediately started crying and hadn’t stopped since then, too engulfed by the fact his disease was getting worse. Sora knew she desperately wished he would have the surgery and remove the flowers that were slowly killing him, but they all knew it would most likely be futile and Sora would regrow the foliage in his chest.

He just cared too much. It was his greatest strength, as well as his biggest flaw.

Even if the feelings and flowers were removed with the sharpest of scalpels, there was a high chance of them returning. Sora had accepted what was going to happen, but for her, his mother, it must be awful knowing your child was going to die and there was little to nothing to actually do about it.

How sad it must be to watch someone you cared for die by something as common as love. His parents had been in love for close to twenty years. However, their love didn’t produce enough flowers in their lungs to run a small florist shop. Why was he fated to suffer for his feelings?

Sora fidgeted on his bed, kicking away the blankets that were twisted around his legs. The comfort the weight of a blanket usually brought him now suffocated him. Putting his phone aside, he continued to wiggle around on the bed, desperately trying to get comfortable and ignore the nagging feeling that he needed to tell Riku something before his best friend panicked enough to send an ambulance after him.

Exhaling a shaky breath, Sora grabbed his phone once more and held it above his head as he went through the messages. Each of them were worried and growing in panic, if the increase in typos were any indication, the last few practically begging him for some sort of response. Sora’s thumbs drummed against the sides of his phone as he thought about what he could say.

His stomach was in knots as he tapped the keys.

_Meet me in the Secret Place in an hour. I’ll tell you everything there._

* * *

The small rowboat bumped against the tiny pier where he and all the other kids tied off their boats when they came to the island. Letting the boat steady itself against the waves for a moment, Riku was relieved to see Sora’s own boat already tied off and waiting for his return.

At least he didn’t blow him off. Since Riku had helped a convulsing Sora home, the boy had ignored every message Riku had sent, and the older teen had become increasingly frustrated and worried in turns by the radio silence.

He had no idea what was going on. Sora’s parents had pretty much shooed him out as soon as Sora passed the threshold of their home. He was given the formality of ‘we’ll let you know what’s going on later’, and so far he had heard nothing. He had tried calling their house phone, but those went as unanswered as his texts to Sora.

He and Sora had been best friends almost since infancy. Sora was the one person Riku could tell anything to. In fact, he usually was the first person Riku went to whenever anything occured. Was he foolishly misguided in thinking he in turn was Sora’s confidant?

Climbing onto the pier, Riku bent and tied his boat down so it wouldn’t float off into the night. His stomach was churning, threatening to heave at any given moment, but he valiantly fought it down as he rummaged in his pockets and pulled out the flashlight he took from his dad’s garage earlier.

Flicking it on, the darkness of the island didn’t seem as spooky as he made his way over the shoal and into the brush. There weren’t any dangerous creatures here, at least, so he wasn’t constantly flicking the light between shadows, but the dark still unnerved him a bit and kicked up his pace as he tromped through the thick underbrush the island held.

Pushing aside large leaves, he made his way towards the rocky center, eyes squinted as he searched for the almost imperceptible hole that indicated he was near the Secret Place.

Swallowing back the nervous energy that had been creeping along his spine for the last few minutes, he furrowed his brows as he swept the light over the rocks. It was almost invisible during the day, but at night it would be almost impossible to find the entrance to his and Sora’s hideaway.

“Sora!” He called out, hoping his plea could be heard. “Are you around?”

“Riku! I’m in here already.” Came the muffled reply. Did the voice come from the left or in front of him?

“Dude, I can’t even see where the hole is,” Riku gruffed, pushing aside more leaves and sticks, he huffed softly as he met bare rock. “Keep talking so I can try and find you.”

“Uhm, okay. Did you bring any snacks with you? I didn’t have a chance to eat before coming here.”

Riku paused for a moment before shaking his head and chuckling at the question. “Why would I think to bring snacks? I was more worried about you, you dolt. I didn’t think we needed a picnic while I asked you what was up with earlier.”

He must have touched on the delicate matter too much, because Sora went silent for a few heavy moments afterwards.

“Sorry about that… I didn’t mean to ignore you. I just—” Sora trailed off, and Riku would bet five munny he had that adorably confused look on his face as he tried to piece together his words. Riku loved that expression.

“It’s alright,” Riku replied. He let out a sigh of relief as the brush parted just so and the entrance to the cave was revealed. “Finally found the entrance. I’ll be in in a sec.”

Stooping over, he awkwardly made his way through the tunnel until he could fully stand once more. He was a rather tall guy now, and the tunnel hadn’t really been explored since they were kids. Once he could fully stand again, he spent a few seconds stretching out his back, thankful that it was at least a short walk from the mouth to the spacious cavern inside.

Sora had a flashlight on the ground in the middle of the stone room, the light pointing upwards and helping to illuminate the area around them. It was dim, but he could see Sora standing in front of one of the heavily drawn on stone walls, hands tracing the childish art upon it.  

Placing his own flashlight alongside Sora’s, Riku walked up behind Sora, merely watching him trace the artwork with near reverent fingers. They used to hang out here a bunch as children, and the walls were testament to that. Nearly every reachable surface was claimed by some scribble or something akin to art.

“When did we stop coming here, Riku?” Sora asked, turning only slightly so his face was masked in shadow.

Riku frowned at the question. “When we we hit double digits, I think.”

Sora hummed, letting his hand fall away from the stone wall as he turned to fully face Riku. A wane smile was on his face. “Do you ever want to go back to then? Where all we had to worry about was if my dad was going to drop us off here so we could play all day.”

Cocking his head to the side, Riku took a tentative step forward. Something seemed… off about Sora. “Sometimes, yeah. I’d rather be with you all day than stuck in math class.”

A sparkle of laughter glimmered in Sora’s eyes at that. “It was easier as kids, you know? There wasn’t much to deal with or much to care for.”

“Sora? What’s going–”

“I’m dying.” Sora interrupted, voice rising in pitch on the last syllable. He was trembling now, head bowed as he clenched his fists against his sides.

Riku felt his tongue turn into sand, dissolving into his mouth and taking any replies he could give along with it. Tears pricked his eyes and he rapidly blinked them away, but all he could do is stand there dumbly and watch as Sora’s shoulders bounced as he fought back tremulous sobs.

“There’s no cure,” the brunet pushed on. “I– Well, I can have surgery, but it’s no guarantee that anything would change. I could be in the same condition again later. There’s nothing I can do, and it’s not  _fair_ , Riku!”

Sora was right, this wasn’t fair.

“How long?” Riku rasped out, finally able to find his tongue and make it force the words past his lips. “What is it? Are you sure there’s nothing that can be done?”

The world felt as if it was constantly shifting, and one wrong move would have Riku in the dirt. So he took careful, slow steps until he was holding Sora in his arms, spiky brown hair brushing up against his chin and nose.

He could feel Sora tremble against him, hands clenching Riku’s shirt for dear life before releasing it and pushing back to look up at him. The tears in Sora’s eyes and the utter loss in his expression was heartbreaking.

Sora turned his head quickly and began coughing, causing panic to course through Riku. Those same, heavy barks he had seen earlier in the day before petals began spewing forth from Sora’s mouth.

He murmured soothing words, hand rubbing comforting circles against Sora’s back and shoulder blades as the brunet eased himself out of the fit of coughing. It took a few minutes, and Riku was shaken to the very core as he watched flowers and petals both erupt from his best friend’s mouth.

Sora was  _sick_.

There was no getting around it from the looks of it. And if Riku had to fathom a guess, he would assume those flowers were what were killing his friend.

“It’s incredibly rare,” Sora wheezed after his coughing started to subside. “But there’s a disease where flowers grow in your lungs when you’re….” Sora swallowed thickly, clearing his throat for a moment before brushing off Riku’s placating hands. “Well, when you’re in love with someone. And if the person doesn’t reciprocate these feelings you die.”

Riku didn’t know if he was supposed to laugh or not at that. A disease that happens when you’re in love? Sounded faker than anything he had ever heard before.

But he saw Sora viscerally cough up the flowers, smelled the pollen and distinct scent of daffodils. Hell, there was even some yellow pollen sticking to Sora’s lower lip. There was no way Sora would make up this elaborate charade just to get one over on him.  

“What do you need to do to fix it?” Riku asked, desperate now to help his friend get better. If Sora was telling the truth, then the best way to fix it would be to question the person who first caused these feelings.

He felt a little sick knowing someone out there caused such strong emotions in Sora that they were practically killing him, but being his friend, he’d push aside that jealousy and do whatever needed to be done to help. As long as he could keep Sora as a friend, nothing else mattered.

Sora fussed with the hem of his shirt collar, eyes darting everywhere around the room, but distinctly avoiding Riku. “It’s stupid. I’ll– I’ll figure it out on my own,” he mumbled.

“Sora, we’re best friends, right?” Riku’s voice wavered as he asked his question. His stomach tightened almost painfully as Sora quickly nodded in affirmation. “Then let me help you. You said you’d tell me everything, right?”

The brunet violently shook his head at that. Riku’s throat ached with a desire to sob.

“There’s nothing you can do, Riku…” Sora tipped his head back and let his tears fall down his cheeks. “You can’t change these feelings, and I don’t want to feel like the monster who forces people to choose him just so he can live.”

“How am I supposed to go on without my best friend?” Riku shouted. He was pacing the small cavern now, hands clenching and unclenching against his side as his arms moved animatedly along with his words. “I’m just supposed to watch you die right in front of me? What about your parents, Sora? Surely they can do something to help.”

“There’s nothing that can be done, Riku!” Sora shouted back. His voice was getting hoarser, and Riku wasn’t sure if it was from all the crying, or the flowers that keep falling from Sora’s mouth. “I don’t want to lose my best friend just because of some stupid feelings!”

Riku froze at that, blood turning to ice at the declaration.

He stared at Sora, who was now openly sobbing, hands furtively trying to wipe away the tears and snot that ran down his face. “I’m sorry, Riku. I never wanted this to happen,” Sora said between hiccups and mewls of distress. “I tried to be a good friend, but I fell in love with you. And I  _hate_ myself for it every single day.”

Riku blinked, unsure of what to do. His heart was racing behind his ribs, threatening to burst forth and flop against the ground with the dirt and rocks.

“I’m sorry, Riku. I wish I didn’t feel this way.” Sora sprinted towards the entrance to the cave, unmindful of the flashlight he left behind as he scurried off.

Riku just watched as Sora ran off, unsure of really what to do. For a good handful of minutes he just stood there, staring blankly where Sora used to be.

If he accepted Sora’s feelings, did he really mean them? Or would he just be pitying the poor boy and make things worse? What was the right course of action in all this?

Grabbing both flashlights, he turned off the one Sora had brought and slowly made his way out of the cave. 


End file.
